Panic Button

Opening

Onan, what is best in life? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and they'll hear the lamentation of their women.

Transcript

Machine transcript generated in 2026 by Grok Bot from the episode audio (Whisper small.en + sherpa-onnx speaker diarization). Speakers labeled Opening / Jake / Justin. Timestamps about every three minutes. Diarization note: HOST_LOCK: after Opening, host/welcome voice = Jake; other = Justin; host-welcome cluster=1 @ 26.1s → Jake; other-primary cluster=0 → Justin; intro-self-ID Jake confirms host; Justin name in host line kept on Jake (HOST_LOCK); Jason-ref Jake cluster 1 sim=0.62; WEAK clustering: dominant speaker share 91% (labels kept: host=Jake).

00:09 Justin: The best place to be is when expectations are high. Get used to it. It's always going to be that way. Get away from me! Jake: Get away from me! Welcome to the Jet Kingdom podcast, the longest running New York Jets podcast ever. My name is Jake and joining me, co-host for 158 times, is Justin. Justin how you doing buddy? I'm doing good. That ever gets angrier and angrier. Ever. Bye! of I feel like it gets angrier and angrier every week. Ever. We got a little bit to talk about. Actually we have agenda this week. We have a lot to talk about. We have a lot to talk about. We got the Giants pre-season game. I actually went to family training night, training, whatever. Family practice at the MetLife Stadium last night and I'll talk about that. some things I saw, good, bad, and indifferent. Then we have the Jet Kingdom Fantasy League entrance. We will tell you who's in and who's... No, we won't tell you who's out. We'll just tell you who's in. And then we have a game coming up on Sunday. So we can talk a little bit about that. And maybe what we're looking forward to or not. So let's get into it. A lot of not. Let me start this off by asking you a few questions. Alright, you're gonna question... The broadcaster's gonna question the podcasting. This is what we do. Yeah, the interview. Okay. The broadcaster. It makes no sense. It's not what we do at all. But go ahead. Um... Go on. Ahem. Uh... How many points did the Jets score against the Giants? How many points did the Jets score against the Giants? How many points did the Jets score against the Giants? I think the number was three. Three. Yes. Interesting. Yes. How many sacks did the Giants record of the Jets? I think the answer was... was it six? Seven. Seven. Okay. Soft by one. How many points did the Giants defense score against the Jets? Seven. Six. Six. Whatever. Isn't that pathetic? So you're gonna get right into this? Well, there's no avoiding this. This is a problem. This is a problem. I have some questions for you. Okay. Why? Okay. This is gonna be fun. This is what you used to do to me. I'm doing it to you this time. I'm gonna read you some numbers. Oh, good. And you're gonna match the number to the player. Okay, good. I'm reading you quarterback ratings. Oh, okay. And I'm gonna read you quarterback ratings. Should I close the box score, cause it's in front of me? Yes, and then don't just look at it. I'll look at it again. Alright, I'm gonna read you quarterback ratings. Yeah, quarterback ratings or statistics? Correct ratings. Just the rating. The rating. That one number. That one number and you can pick from anybody, any quarterback who played in the Jets Giants game. There's five quarterbacks.

03:01 Jake: I just need to... okay. Okay. Got it. There's five quarterbacks. Got it. Alright. I didn't know that fifth one. Okay. Here we go. Go on. 158.3, which is perfect. It's just nearly perfect. That's that fifth guy. Yeah. That's why I don't know. Ryan Penelix. Yeah, whatever. Alright. 51.1 That could be either Sanchez, Tubo, Or Eli because Eli didn't play great either. It was Marcin. It was Marcin. Okay, good. Good guess 86.8 Let's say David Carr. Very very good 32.4 That's gotta be T-Bow, right? Eli man. How's Eli? 52.4. That's T-Bow. T-Bow So I just I started to freak out. I'm for everyone's freaking out. Everybody's freaking out. We're all freaking out But the reality is Eli Manning, Super Bowl winning quarterback, went in that game and had the worst statistical game of everybody. 7-14, 62 yards, 1 interception. The fact of the matter is our defense played really well in the first half like we thought they were going to. Our defense gave up two field goals. in the first half. When it matters. In the first half. Our offense gave up a touchdown. That's correct. And could not score a point. They basically scored a field goal in the third quarter. Now, they should have scored a touchdown. Yep, but very close. Everyone knows, including God, this man's father, knows that Tim Tebow can't throw the goddamn football. So this is one of the positive things, I think, to come of this game, which is that Mark Sanchez looks like a real quarterback and doesn't... it had one mistake and it was bad. Everything else, I thought, was pretty good. One mistake and he played for a limited amount of time. We all know Mark Sanchez... Doesn't play usually plays better in the second half than he does in the first he usually comes out cold We know this right the other thing is we know And I can't believe it's taken me actually to be a jet fan to see this now But they've always talked about Tim Tebow's throwing motion throwing motion throwing motion And I was like oh piece of shit He's like a pitcher like he like winds up like a like a pitcher or something. I don't know I've just I'm now seeing as a fan. It's like what I did is I watch the condensed version of the game which on this new app We you know the preseason thing 19 bucks. You can watch every game everything but just the condensed version It's very cool because very geeky to pay $20 to see preseason. It's awesome Well, I can't I'm gonna pay the full season so I can see all of them like this But because it just goes every play boom boom boom So you're not paying attention to any of the bullshit of the game. It's just play, play, play, play. And when you see them like that, it gives you a different perspective of the game because you can see like good play, good play, good play, good play, good, good, good, good, bad play. Or bad, bad, bad.

06:00 Jake: As opposed to commercial break, commercial break. You know, a guy telling you about... you know somebody else. What you will notice when you watch T-Boe with most quarterbacks and what you're used to seeing is a quarterback's throwing motion their arms generally don't drop below like their ear. Right. You know like they're they they bring the ball up to their ear and they throw it. He like brings the ball back and drops all the way down. like he's throwing a baseball ball and whips around. It definitely is, he's not a quarterback, I mean he's a football player. And I hope that people realize that we're better off with him running gimmicks and protecting the punters than actually playing a quarterback. So here's the other good part of this game. What else did you like? What I like is... There wasn't much to watch. No, because you know what? We haven't seen the offense. This is not... If any Jet Fan thinks that what you saw has anything to do with our real offense, you're misguided. So you're saying what we saw from the offensive line was no help, nothing. It was just go block and there was no... You're going to make an excuse for that offensive line's performance. I'm going to say that he and they were bad. They were bad. But it's preseason. And these are the same guys who were in the playoffs with us. That same doofus played in the playoffs. I understand. That was three years ago. But he's a known issue. He's known. That's it. So I think the offense that you're going to see is going to be based on... is going to be based on this thing that they're not showing you. For once, the fucking jets are not like, here's exactly what we're gonna do on the field. Here's our game plan. They're like, hey guys, here's the most vanilla fucking offense you can see. And so what? We're gonna score three points and we should have scored more, whatever. When the game hits. And again, I'm not freaking out. I'm not putting on my freakout hat. until week four. Week four? Oh, and four? Have you looked at our schedule? Yes. I know it by heart. I go to every game. I know exactly what the schedule is. I'm going to... We can easily be one in four. One in four is time to freak out. Two in two? I'm not freaking out. Well, one in four is different than two in two. The math doesn't add up. Oh, five. Oh, five. One's four. But we can easily be one in four. When I looked at our schedules like oh shit, but you've also said I rather be yes I'd rather be two and five and then and straight and then finish ten and six. That's right. It's where I want to be That's right That's what that's what the Super Bowl champions do. That's right the green Bay Packers They win every game and then one and done no the year before they got hot That's right at the end the Giants did the same thing. I did it Pittsburgh did four years ago It happens. So here we go. I'm just saying you couldn't look into the fans up. You couldn't know a thing You're not a fan. I'm not a bright. I don't know what it's like I'm talking to the fans, but you don't you you realize that don't fucking freak out when you watch that first half

09:03 Jake: I mean you saw Pretty good defense. Are you our defense is gonna and and I didn't I did not get to see what I wanted to see Because we clearly we were not game planning Reavis was saying on one side of the field and Cromartie was staying on the other side of the field and Victor Cruz already was raping people Don't say that cuz he does that 12 children that wait first of all you just blew this podcast out of the water first of all having children with people is not Raping them. He might call me to mutual sex. He may we any who Wow I'm burlesque it was burger story. Yeah, we just spoke story. No, but Take that back. He did not mean I wanted to see remus cover crews and it didn't really happen because he was just they weren't Right. He's just playing this. They were just playing aside again I am here's the things that I was happy about a saw a little mojo out of Sean Green little burst little something Little something little something. I think that I think that you have not seen our defense at all. They have not They've closed off the practice. They're not showing this thing, this Wildcat thing of whatever Sporano is putting together. You're happy with these receivers? Wasn't good, no. But also our number one receiver's not on the field. He was in a red shirt yesterday. He's not on the field. So that's it. You're happy with that number two? Your guy. Promote? Kamarti? Stephen Hill who you think is going to be the next coming of someone else? So let's jump to the next game. Let's jump to tomorrow, last night. Because I was at the practice. You were at the practice. I was at the practice. I watched an hour and a half practice. How'd it go? First of all, they usually go to Hofstra. They usually do the family. I've been there many times. Everybody knows they used to do the whole training camp in Hofstra. Right. And you could go at any time. I had friends of mine who would go sit. for the entire, they take a vacation and they go there every day. That is, that's sick. That's crazy. Well they're fans, not broadcasters. Well yeah. Anyway, um, so I used to go and then they started doing this family night thing and I brought my daughter, now seven-year-old daughter, and then last night, last year it got rained out in Hofstra, they moved it to the MetLife stadium. This year they just, they, they moved, they were gonna do in Hofstra and they moved it again. Yeah. It's a great experience in MetLife. First of all, they open up the whole place. You're on the field you open up the whole place you get to go you walk right up You sit in the best section of them of the stadium you're out of the Sun They have food and beverages for sale in the real concession stands you can buy what you want You can sit there you eat your burger and you watch watch football. You're in a good spot Tell me about the fucking practice line and there's a season ticket holder you can At the end, they let us all go down onto the field and like anywhere on the field. So it was awesome. Like, yes, I got the pictures of your daughter. T-boing. T-boing on. I was unhappy. It was funny. Anyway, Stephen Hill had four unbelievably Two of them uncovered, just practice, drops. He dropped, I'm hoping he's got to every one of them out of the system, because he dropped balls that to the point where I was like, really? Like, just drills, like go into the corner

12:00 Jake: and here's just a ball to catch, drop. Get used to it, my man. Ugh. Why do you think this first round talent went in the second round? He's got, again, because he didn't even play in an offense in college that threw the ball. Not panicking. KATHRYN The No panic just saying you dropped a lot of balls. Oh, it's a Keller look fine. Carol's big like he looks I don't want to say fat. He's good not fat, but he looks like beefy. He looks like he's like tight end He's a big dude. Yeah, but it looks like he's like bigger than he was maybe they asked him to bulk up to help block Who else? Saw who else I mean Sanchez and and T-bo playing great. They all did the ring at the end slapping everybody's hands as they went They look decent I mean, it's tough because they're playing against the Jets defense, right? They played well, a couple things. One, they did this, they did like the goal line passing drill. So they just put, you know, receiver against corner at the they were at the five. And so the corner plays off at the five. And then they just, you know, match up. You know, you know, he's you know, the quarterback's going to throw to the receiver and the corner shop is to stop that. Of course. Does anyone score on Reavis ever? Yeah, actually, God did so on Reavis. Wow. Yeah, and then oh and there's refs calling so just but man kramarti was like he got a flag for every play He was just like the guy would come he would just like hold his jersey and just like throw him to the ground I think what are you doing? Do you think you can do that in a game? Like it would have been like, okay Now you're first in you're first and go from the one like every single time Um, I don't I don't know if he just had a bum of his butt. He was getting called every single time Have they told him just to be like 300 times more aggressive or something? Maybe. Like that play against Was a cruise? Who's he on in the Giants game that he like he raped him as he came across He's just like up his ass and it was clearly past interference. Like even me as a jet fan I'm like, yeah, they can call it. We're all like, oh good. Thanks. Then there's a hit Then Landry's hit. Landry had a nice game. He had a good game. I'm excited about the defense. We were... Everyone was cheering on the defense in the practice. Yeah, of course. That's all there is there. That's all there is to cheer for. Hopefully there's gonna be some things that will surprise us. Hopefully... I don't even want to see them. I don't even want to see it in game three, which is usually the dresser, so where you see some things, I don't even want to see them. Alright, so let's get to game three. Coming up this week. Am I going? Yeah. Oh, you want to go? Yeah, I said I'll... We have the draft, and then you have another draft, and then we'll go after that. Yeah. It's an eight o'clock game. Oh no, I have one draft on Saturday. Just on Saturday, Sunday. Oh, Sunday, that's right. Yeah, you have two drafts on Sunday. We have this draft. This draft. And then I got that other draft. Other draft for the other league. For that other league. So this is Sunday. That's what we talked about. Yeah, I've got to looky, looky, looky at this. Your other draft starts at five. Don't look at this now. This is, broadcasters wouldn't look at their calendar on the middle of the air. They just wouldn't do it. Right.

15:00 Jake: Anyway, Panthers, it is the third game. playing the Panthers. So it's gonna be two and a half, three quarters of what is supposed to be a dress rehearsal. Again, I think you're gonna see a very vanilla Jets offense. I just think this is their thing this year. Three years ago was something else, two years ago was something, last year is one thing, this is, this year it's, we're not going to show you crap. Because if we show you anything, you're gonna be able to game plan against it. And we think what we got is kind of special and it's gonna be kind of fun. So I'm excited because I I feel like this is a game where I want to see Sanchez run a and not be taken off Like you know, he'll play to two series and then be taken off I want to give him a half and I guarantee you he'll score I was gonna play the hat you played the whole first half in this game. Yeah, the giant game didn't do much Played the whole time. I know he did I know it with the first teamers the whole first team offense was out there Yeah, I mean sans injured. I mean three injury receivers. Well, that's kind of hard. It is kind of hard But yeah, I mean I I want to see them run like I Don't want to see them give anything away I was I want to see it score some fucking points right like score a field goal or something The first team or something. Yeah, I mean We got good field position in that giant game started away every time yeah, that's how they're gonna win games field position defense and God we need we need some punting Competition don't we? He averaged 41 yards. Yeah, but he shanked a couple like you can't be shanking But he was nine if you look at the stats. They were actually pretty good. Yeah, shanked. Yeah, can't be shanking punts No, no good not on a defensive field position He's also not a guy who will ever bomb one Like I never see him bomb one Like we need a guy, like the guy in the dolphins is a great punter. He just bombs him. He can hit him like 60 yards. You need a guy like that. If we're gonna play like field position type of team here. Just throwing out a little bit of NFL news. So there's one running back who's now saying he wants to trade. Just a running back? Where is Jones Drew? He wants to be traded. Yep. Possible? To us? I'm just saying. He'd be a welcome addition. I don't know what you'd have to give up for him. Well, what'd it matter? What a first round. No. No? No. At this point. No. You put him a first round pick for a running back that's got maybe two years left in him? That dominated the league last year? The most productive running back of the league last year? Which makes me even more leery. Well, he's probably an injury risk, but whatever. I don't know like no flipping way. I say play this year. No flipping way. No way would you rather have I mean just look would you rather have like a Quentin Cobles for the next maybe 10 years or would you have Maurice Jones Drew for maybe two years? Eh, three. Maybe three. Maybe the number one

18:05 Jake: running back last year for a couple years? Yeah why not. No, not for a first round pick. That's not it. That's not even how NFL trades work. No way Yeah, I don't know. I was just as he's getting unhappy to talk about trades I was thinking you know what? Yeah, sir kind of a team who could use a really good money like a fourth round pick like we did for homes But he's not homes homes was a guy who was lost went for a fourth round pick to the past. Yeah And these guys what would you give up for Maurice Jones true? I just said a fourth round fourth. That's it We'll go third now Second no, maybe a third, but that's it. You wouldn't get me up past that third and a fifth Maybe a fourth maybe a conditional fourth like like he runs over 1200 yards Yeah, or like 10 times if we make the AFC championship game or something now it'll boost you up to like a second like we do a chroma how about this make if you if we win the Super Bowl he gets a first round when you would you trade away a first round pick for the Super Bowl all right so there is a there is a all right I would trade away an entire draft next year for a Super Bowl but whatever one in a Super Bowl you can fuck off for 10 years as far as I'm concerned yeah you gotta keep any of you get it in your mind all right all right let's get to our let's get to the Jet Kingdom fancy we have actually some awesome entries we do you want me to read them like um yeah let's read well let's read a couple so these are guys who are in we have how many spots left well we we just received three entries we're entering three into we're entering three in tonight so we have somebody that has yet to, we've let into the league who's actually yet to get back to us. Right. So there might, so there's either one or two more spots. There's either one or two more spots. So let's just say there's one and an alternate. Or there's, yes, one and an alternate. Right. So after these three are read and are in, Then we have we have one spot and an alternate and we have an alternate waiting anyway a friend who's like, right? Who's an alternate? We have an alternate. I want to let him in because it don't need it He's a dolphin fan. He's a good guy his favorite chat of all time was Jason Taylor and immediately gone. Yeah. All right So let's read these In reverse order of when they came in, Mark Steele! Welcome to Jet Kingdom Fantasy League. I was gonna say, fan to C-League, because of the fans of PODS. I should be let in because I did really well in the Jet Kingdom pick them last year. Seriously, played as the New York SAC Exchange and was gonna win the whole thing. I remember this. Yes. But, uh... Didn't I win the whole thing last year? No, I don't think so. I think a wife may have. Nope. Uh, but he, he... Towards the end he forgot to submit his pick. So he almost cried and he, he was crushed that evening, but it happened. Uh, spot in fantasy would go a long way towards lifting the deep dark depression that's plagued him since that fatal error. That's not bad. Alright, well it's lifted now. It is lifted. Additionally, he lives about an hour and a half from Courtland.

21:02 Jake: So he's been to three of the practices this year. Awesome. Good on you, Mark. and numerous times the first two years they were there you know talks about like a fake snow blah blah blah blah blah I'm not gonna read your whole article but basically your big fantasy will will will put something in your heart there that favorite jet favorite jet chapennington interesting interesting I really do like chapennton I've been listening for two years and his favorite is the podcaster be who you are and why are you pointing at yourself that's you i forgot you're the podcasting by the way they picked them you know i kept thinking myself was the podcast it's kind of funny you're the podcast i'm the podcast all right uh next so welcome aboard mark mark jess you'll get your email tomorrow jesse be back Might have. Oh, you went? Okay. Yes. Yes. Yeah, that's the next one Hey Jake and Justin I have been going to check game since I was five years old during the 88 season So he just dated himself. I've had lots of firsts going to jet games Saki Sean Johnson's first professional touchdown who can forget that Remember that one where he threw way through his helmet all over the place. That was fun I was baffled by my first and only fake spike play Hmm, I tasted my first beer and I had my first woman all at giant stadium three of those statements are true Oh, that's funny. That was funny as a lifelong jet fan. I have a lot of fond memories of players I have special place in my heart for the hard-hitting linebacker Brian Cox Yep, as do I he ushered in these are my words he ushered in a new era with Parcels, I really like that. So, who I believe held the title for most fine player in NFL prior to joining the Jets, I believe you are correct. Curtis Martin is easily the classiest player, I agree. I love Vinnie Testiverde and witnessed the Monday Night Miracle first hand, as did the podcaster. More recently, Brad Smith was always electric on the field, but my favorite jet of all time has to be the Green Lantern, Mr. Wayne Crabet. He's just so darn scrappy. I agree I also like Wankerback quite a bit not my favorite but one of them. So when's he been a listener since? longtime listener since the start of the Rex Ryan era So at least the last three years I even had a question read on the podcast this year during the episode about the 2012 2013 schedule Because I've listened for so long. It's hard to say who I like more Jake tells a great story Justin's database approach takes the podcast beyond the amateur level. I think the podcast only works with both of you doing your respective things. I'd be good choice because I pick with my heart doesn't every league need one of those. What's best in life? He followed it with Vets. He asked. You know what I was like, oh he likes Conan. I'm like, oh yeah, that's our open area. Yeah, so Jesse you're in. You're in Jesse. Alright. And the last one is not least. Hey broadcaster and podcaster. This is from Marc Tease. A fan of the show from the UK been listening for about six months. The noob.

24:00 Jake: You have to go back and listen to everyone. Yeah you kind of do. Became a Jet Fan in 2000. So he'll base his favorite jet on that. Sean Ellis. Nice. He's picking the podcaster as his favorite because he's recent... I feel like he's doing this in a self-serving way. Because recently he's become one himself. Ah, umm, he's added that he has his own podcast which we'll plug here, we don't mind. NYJetsOverThePond.com Nice! So I'm just from the UK over there, over the pond. Hope we can make our... The... Yeah, the timing in the draft. No, it's later for him, so that's good. Yeah, it's noon for us, it's like 5 or 6 for him, so great. We'll be drinking. PS, keep up the awesome work. Go Jets! So! You're in, Martis. Excellent. Excellent. So three down or eight down? Well nine down. Eight or nine down. One or two more to go. Yeah, just keep coming. So here's the thing. Send in a couple. If you're like on the wire, like, oh, should I send in? Just send podcasts at JetKingdom.com. Give us your, the how long you been a listener. your favorite jet of all time, why you should be in the league, and who's better, the podcaster, the broadcaster. And I'll just say this for now, pick the broadcaster, because he's getting a little upset. Alright, no one's picked him, because... People pick me, no one's picked you. Someone's picked me. No one's picked you. No, that's false. No one likes you. Absolutely false. Somebody has definitely picked me in some way. Not gonna. Oh, come on. All right. Anyway, are you serious? Yeah, and so that's so the draft is this Sunday at noon So if you can't make that don't send it in and remember in that a Jets pick me so fuck off in the jet Kingdom Podcast and the jet Kingdom Fantasy League you're gonna need to hold as one of our things. We're doing ESPN 10 teams Standard League blah blah blah The only the only thing is you will always have to have a JET player on your active roster except for the Bi-Week. So you always have to have a JET. So this is how we think it's going to be more interesting for the draft. I'm actually, you know, I've had many theories of how I'm going to go one way or the other. So the question to you, sir, do you, since the podcast is, or since the draft is around 12, we, do you think we could do a podcast after the draft and talk about the draft? On Sunday. Sunday? Yes. Before you go do your next draft. So it'll probably be no more than two hours because it's like 60 seconds. Yeah. Alright, so maybe that's what we'll do. If you don't hear from us then that's why. Well we have these, this equip monk. We might have this equip monk. That's another reference. Oh, the Solomon said they'd know that. So if you know that one, that's good. All right, so we'll be back in another podcast, definitely next week, maybe a Sunday special post draft podcast to talk about who got what and how all the jazz players. Aren't we scheduled to do a podcast on Monday? Yeah, but that's after the game. This would be after the podcast. This would be after the draft. I think we can wait.

27:00 Jake: Okay, so we'll do one on Monday. We'll be back on Monday with a new one. Sorry guys. The broadcaster said no. He's got a busy schedule. It's just how many podcasts can we do? That one's really self-serving. It's like here's the results of our draft for the 10 people who are in it who give a shit. Well, because it's a... It's a... Jets Draft. Yeah, let's talk about it. Alrighty, so we'll see you on Monday. Fuck the broadcaster. Send in your things and... This is bullshit. I'm not letting you in if you don't say anything to me. Go into thejetkingdom.com. Follow us on Twitter. My FU of the week goes to the podcaster. Nice. So fuck you Jake. That's sweet. I'll edit you out in post. And until next week, as always, we'll see you on Monday night. If you're in the fantasy, you get your emails. See you then until next week. And as always, go Jets.